The Transitioning Introvert

As I find myself about to graduate college, I reflect on the major changes I have seen in myself, and coming out of my shell is definitely one of them.

When I arrived at TLU, I was quiet, shy, "mean looking," and in all ways a loner. I was afraid that people would not like me, or agree with my opinion. I was afraid that I would not fit in. Many would say that every freshman goes through this, but mine carried over into my sophomore year. I realized, I wasn't so much afraid, as much as I just preferred to be alone in my own world. As the years went on I began to love and embrace that about myself. However on this journey I learned more than I could ever imagine about myself. I found my voice, and I don't just mean in the choir, but in life, I learned that in order to understand in class, you actually have to talk to the professors. WHO KNEW?! I learned how to be able to speak in front of a group of people without my anxiety turning my speech into a foreign language. Seriously, if someone had told me I would be the president of BSU and my chapter of my sorority, as well as the Co Director of SHABACH Gospel Choir, I never would have believed them. Life lessons and TLU got me there.

I walk around campus now communicating with faculty and staff, students, and sometimes people I don't even know. It is a blessings to know some of the amazing people I have met just from speaking up.

So as I am about to transition into "the real world" I will remember my journey and lessons at TLU and be proud of what I learned and who I am because you never know what life has to offer you. I walked into TLU all around introvert, however I will leave TLU a happy and proud ambivert.

Sports in my own Bubble

I have always been interested in sports. I played basketball for many years, supported my brother when he played football, and probably watched every Dallas Cowboys and Miami Heat game possible. However, I find myself having a different experience when I watch a game in person surrounded by people versus when I watch a game in the privacy of my own home.

I can recall going to every home basketball game in high school and in college and restraining my excitement to cheer when my team did well or my anger when the referee made a bad call. Worried that although I know the sports well, I may say something that may be wrong or that those surrounding me may not agree with. Yet at home whether I am by myself or with family or roommates, I say whatever I want knowing that they may or may not agree with my rowdiness or what I have to say, but I know they won't judge me for it or look at me any differently.

Although I walk around with a tough shell, making it seem as though I don't care what others say or think, I do. It is hard to realize these things about myself and I wish it wasn't so, but I find it hard to be myself in public.

Social Media Role in Introversion

As I sit in my Social Media & Society class today and we discuss Sherry Turkle's book, Alone Together, and her ideas on the role texting and other social media in relationships and society today, I cannot help but to connect it to introversion.

She argues that texting and social media are making human to human interaction less demanded, less sincere. "We expect more from technology and less from each other," Turkle said. She argues that we turn to technology as a way to communicate in ways we can control. Today, we are able to share something on Facebook, or Instagram, or twitter and allow yourself that interaction so you are not alone, yet step away when you have had enough interaction. What is this saying about society today?

I have personally experienced situations such as this. I can talk to someone on Facebook, Instagram, twitter or text, yet when I see the people I have been talking to on these networks, I have little to nothing to say. You can be someone on social media that you cannot, or do not want to be in reality.

So what does this do for introverts? I like to think that introverts are making progress in the world today because of social media, but hearing Turkle's point of view, it makes me feel as though social media is taking introverts back. It gives them the idea that they are interacting with people, but really keeping them in the same predicament if not making it worse. It still causes introverts to have problems with being around people for long periods of time. This goes back to the issue of control. Which brings the thought to my mind that social media puts the rest of the world on the same level as introverts, yearning for interaction but only being able to handle so much of it.

I'm curious to see where social media takes introverts and the rest of society.

Stepping Out of My Comfort Zone

It is truly an amazing feeling when you step out of your comfort zone without really realizing it happened until its over.

Today, a couple of my friends and I went to Cheddars in San Antonio for dinner. We were indulging in a rather interesting and enterataining conversation. Then all of a sudden, mid-sentence, my friend just stopped talking and began to stare into the distance. Confused and waiting in anticipation for the rest of her response, I looked at her as if to urge her to continue. When she did not continue, I directed my eyes to where hers were fixated. To my surprise, there he was, DWIGHT HOWARD! Anyone who knows me, knows that I am a Miami Heat fan, not a Lakers fan. However, I found myself a little star struck and, quite frankly, lost in his attractiveness!

Of course this encounter changed the whole conversation we were having. We were then trying to figure out how to get a picture of him. He must have noticed all the attention that was being directed at him, not only by us but by other customers, so he requested to be seated in the back."Hey, how are ya'll doing," he said as he walked by to his requested table. That was it, I had to talk to him or get a picture or something!

Once we finished our meals and paid our bills, the girls and I decided that we would just go ask for a picture. However as we got closer the other girls backed out, which was suprising to me since they are the more outgoing ones. To my surprise, I was still gung ho for the plan. So I calmly walked over to the table, introduced myself, welcomed them to San Antonio, and respectfully asked if it would be possible for us to take a picture. Unfortuantley they said no, it was against his contract. However, after coming of my adreneline high, I realized what I had done. Although it may seem like nothing major to many I was proud of myself. I went from a young lady who hated even talking in front of a handful of people, to approaching random strangers, celebrity at that, and speaking as if it is somethign I do all the time.

Although I have seen a change in myself occurring, this situation just showed me that anything is possible, no matter what kind of person you are. It may even be something that can get me through future speeches and presentations. "You talked to Dwight Howard, you can talk to these people," I'll think to myself.

I was excited for my first celebrity encounter, but I was more excited of the progress I see in myself.

Introverts In the Classroom: Personal Experience

I found myself in class today, dealing with a common issue I have. During conversation or discussion, for the most part, I am able to say a few words here and there to voice my opinion on a matter, however on certain occasions, the conversation moves to fast for me, which is known to be common in introverts. In my mind, things need to process so I can organize my thoughts before I vocalize them, whereas many people can just hear a comment and be able to just throw their thoughts out there.

So this is the situation I was confronted with today. I had so many thoughts and opinions forumlating in my head, but I couldn't organize them fast enough. By the time they were organized it just didn't seem like the right time to say what I had in mind. Then when the opportunity presented itself, someone else would jump in. So it was like I was trying to double dutch, but just couldn't get the timing right. Which, for me, creates anxiety within.

It seems situations like this are becoming more and more common for me. Although I have adjusted and learned how to deal with other situations faced by introverts, this one I am not so sure about. This could just be a BreAna thing, but I don't know how to face it. Just goes to show, there is always something new to learn, no matter how much you may think you know about something.

Letter to My College Professors

Dear Dr. or Professor (insert your name here),

Thank you for helping me grow as a student through these past four years. I know our relationship has been difficult, but we are almost done. I walked in your class and sat down without saying a word the whole semester my first year. However, your "is she ok" glares, "speak up" tones and "I know you can do better" speeches, along with the occasional cynical and pessimistic yet somehow encouraging teaching methods and conversation that end in tears have definitely made me the new me I see myself becoming. Not everyone can say they have had that experience, but you have made that possible. So thank you. Thank to your help, I will be graduating in a month. The road has been hard, but it has been worth it. So this is a special shout out to all of you.

Although I know many of you may never see this, I hope you all know you made a difference in my life for the better.

Sincerely,

The quiet girl in the back

The Introverted and Famous

Ok, I have talked about introversion in students, in relationships, stereotypes in introversion. Now It's time to surprise you. Some of your favorite celebrities may be introverts. Let me throw some out and see if you know them.

-Meryl Streep, actress
-Ingrid Bergman, actress
-Clint Eastwood, actor/director
-Tom Hanks, actor
-Michelle Pheiffer, actress
-Julia Roberts, actress
-Gwyneth Paltrow, actress
-Harrison Ford, actor
-Steve Martin, actor
-David Letterman, host of his own show
-Diane Sawyer, co host of ABCs Good Morning America
-Barbara Walters, host of 20/20
-Michael Jordan, best basketball player in history
-Rosa Parks, civil rights activists

Just to name a few...

Is your mind blown?

Although I have discussed, in my previous posts, the stereotype of introverts just being quiet and drawn in, you may still have been surprised by the list above. I will admit that I was a bit taken aback by a couple of the people such as, David Letterman and Michael Jordan, but we have to remember that people come in different forms, introverts included.

As you can see, some of the most known and most outspoken people fall in the introvert category. I'm no actress, show host,basketball player, or civil rights activist, but I imagine they just did what came with the environment. Let me explain. Michael Jordan may not have liked having to do interviews or commercials, but it came with the territory of doing what he loved, playing basketball.

I imagine there are many people around the world doing what they love, what they are passionate about, who have been forced to step out of their comfort zone because of it. However, we all know that there are always sacrifices that must be made in life.

I am an introvert and a communications major. Hello! Is that not crazy? No, it's not. I love being able to communicate in a different way than the norm. I love informing people of what is going on around them. However, I had to learn that if this is really what I wanted to do, there needed to be some changes within myself. Now I am conversing more and expressing my opinion;I am speaking up. I do go home, close my bedroom door and watch tv with my dog at the end of the day, but that will always be who I am.

Would you let who you are, stop you from where you're going?

Challenges of the African American Introvert

This blog is long over due. It was meant for Black History Month, but can be applied in everyday life for many it is still relevant, but sorry for the wait.


I have talked about the general stereotypes of introverts, such as:

• We are quiet, therefore have no personality
• We are not confident in ourselves
• We do not have opinions

and the list goes on. However as an introverted female who is African American, more stereotypes and challenges occur. Many of which have been interesting to encounter through out my years. These points can be argued against, but they make African Americans go a bit further to exhibit our skills due to societies expectation of us. These experiences can be summed up in three points based on my experience:

1. African Americans are all loud and outgoing(negatively)

This is the common stereotype about the African American community but more specifically, African American women. Most of the exposure people get their negative ideas about the African American culture come from television shows such as Basketball Wives, The Game, Real Housewives of Atlanta, Love and Hip Hop and the list goes on. We are portrayed as reckless people who get loud when we get upset, rolling our necks, throwing drinks, and speak as though we have no respect for others or ourselves. Sadly, this is what many, those inside and outside of the race, expect from us, and if we do not act this way, sometimes due to introversion, we either "think we are better" or "up to something."

(Watch video from 1:26)
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Due to these negative portrayals, I feel I have to work everyday to prove them wrong. If I encounter a disagreement with someone, I like to see where the other person is coming from, not get mad, get loud and call them names other than their own. In my everyday conversation, I not only respect the people I talk to, but go a step further to prove my knowledge in every situation, make sure my voice is heard WHEN NECESSARY, but also hear the other persons side. I prefer "educated conversations" over ignorant ones.

     2.   African American introverts think they are better than the rest

This stereotype seems to appear more within the African American culture against each other. This is one I encounter on a regular basis, especially in the college environment. In the college environment, there are always parties. I have nothing against people who like to go out to parties, but that is not my scene. I prefer to be at home watching a movie or hanging out with one or two friends. My African American friends respond to this by saying, "you're too good to go out with us?" When in reality, I just don't like the environment. On a daily basis, I run into groups of African Americans on campus who hang out with each other, but I only know a few of them. I speak to the few I know and politely wave to the others. However because I do not make the effort to talk to them and get to know them like the others do, I am seen as "uppity" or "too good" for them. So it is not only people outside of the African American race, but those within it as well that cause me to feel uncomfortable. Yes, I do choose the people I call friends and who I hang out with wisely, but that is because I value having few close friends them a thousand acquaintances. Yes, I do talk differently than you and prefer different types of music, but that does not make me less black or better than anyone, it makes me eclectic. So, no, I do not think I am better than the rest. I am choosing not settle like many.

     3.   African American introverts are scheming

This assumption more so applies to African American men, but can apply to women as well. This is the idea that because a person is African American and does not fit the stereotype, maybe quietly reading to themselves or something, they must be up to something. Take for example the Trayvon Martin case. It is not known that he was an introvert, but he was keeping to himself, but because of, in my opinion, the color of his skin, he was killed. Even in walking the sidewalk or in the mall, I have noticed women subconsciously or consciously, grab their purses a little tighter when an African American male walks by. For women, it has been said that when an African American woman gets quiet, she is about to "go off" or get upset and start yelling, or based on television stereotypes they are planning to key your car, or cut your tires. Why can't we just be sitting quietly just to be quiet and relax? Why do we have to be up to something. Many people that know me know that, yes, I am quiet most of the time because I prefer to keep my thoughts to myself unless they are necessary or helpful to a situation. Do I think and occasional smart ass response to people every now and then, yes, but that doesn't mean I am plotting to harm them or get back at them in any way.

For these reasons, I feel I have to do three times the work that others do. I go into an interview knowing that I am and 1. I am African American 2.  I am a woman and 3. I am an introvert so I have to let my knowledge show, I have to let my personality show, I have to be steps above the rest. Some may say this is the case for any interview or situation, but understand there is a difference.

I hate that I had to separate myself from other introverts but I cannot ignore the fact that the separation is there, whether it is present due to society or family beliefs and values. I do wish that everyone could be on the same level, but in the world and society of the world, it seems unreachable. Everyone is a product of their own environment, but it is how you accomodate your differences that makes the difference.