Be You, Whoever You Are

With such a busy semester almost behind me, and the last day of classes finally over, I was anxious for the moment to be able to go home, relax and sleep, but today I realized that sometimes even introverts feel the need for some people to people attention.

After my only class of the day and my last class of the semester, rather than wanting to be alone in my room celebrating, I found myself wanting to talk to everyone, figure out what everyone was doing for the night. My roommate even stopped me mid sentence to ask if I was ok. Truth be told, I did not know what had come over me, until she brought up the party she was going to that night.

When she began talking about the party, my first thought was, I wish I were comfortable enough to go. Although I know many people, people who would be at that party, mainly people I met due to my extroverted friends, that doesn’t mean I am able to connect with them and have fun the way they do with each other. Just for a night I wanted to be out and be recognized, I wanted to be the girl that everyone loved to talk to, who wasn’t sometimes socially awkward in the party environment.

So that was it. I was going to get dressed and go to the party. But when my roommate came downstairs dressed and ready to go, I was still sitting in bed, not dressed to party, but watching TV and on the computer.

It seems those urges will present themselves from time to time; the urge to live the so-called normal college life, to have fun and socialize, but who’s to say I hadn’t already been doing that. This is the thought that caused me to change my mind. No party, no drunken fiasco could replace the great times and memories I have created from sitting at home cooking and watching movies with my boyfriend, reading my niece a bed time story, or playing Michael Jackson Experience on the Wii with my roommates.

Sometimes we may think we want something, but we cannot change the people we are. That night, I wanted to live, but then I realized, I had been living all along. I had been living my way. But for a moment, I had let he societal norms of the world let me believe that I was not, but I’m glad I won that battle.

So my advice today is never let world’s expectations of who they think you should be, determine who you really are.