Being misunderstood is never an easy thing to deal with. I cannot count the number of times I have rolled my eyes or wanted to just slap someone for saying I’m too timid or shy just because I was not jumping into their conversation, or for saying I was boring because I did not want to go out to the parties or other social events like everyone else did. Since when do my outward ways of life determine the type of person I am?! It is as if everyone should be the same in their eyes, like everyone should talk too damn much during the week and get drunk and act like fools on the weekend, and that just isn’t me. I talk when I feel it is necessary and go out occasionally on special occasions and I am ok with that...now!
Things have been this way for me since freshman year of high school. I am now a senior in college and although people do not seem to have changed much, I have. The main thing that has helped me grow and develop into a more tolerant and patient introvert is my love for communications and current pursuit of a communication degree. I know, I know some of you may be thinking, “how can an introvert be a communications major?” but it is possible.
Personality traits of an introvert can include but are not limited to dealing with emotions, thoughts, and observations internally. We reveal less about ourselves to others, however that does not mean we are less of a person that others. In those group conversation situations, introverts need more time to think about responding to comments and ideas before we just blurt things out. So contrary to extrovert belief, we do have opinions, ideas, etc. we just process and share them differently.
Believe it or not, the guy in the red used to be, and sometimes still is me. Introverts are ok with being alone, in fact we do our best thinking and a lot of the time we are happier when alone, but again, that does not make us the lesser people or the more boring people. We introverts can find small take tiring because the main source of our energy comes from within rather than from being around people. This does not mean we prefer to be alone for our lives, but we do need time to ourselves to recharge and refocus.
Being a part of the communications causes a person to branch out, speak to, and get to know many people through interviewing them for a story, using them as a point of contact for another person or just getting a photo. Either way as a journalist, I have been able to better understand that every person is different and works differently. Getting to know people has also presented a new way of looking at the world, which is not easy for an introvert since we feel as though everyone should know what we know.
When I first began working in journalism I would be good in preparing for the interview. My questions were prepared, typed and printed ahead of time. I covered all the areas that needed to be covered as far as getting information for my stories, such as the who, what, when, where, why and how. Yet and still, when it came down to conducting the actual interview, I instantaneously became nervous. The thought of having to talk to another person, whom I did not know, was off-setting to me. Providing news to others was something important to me, but I did not know how to, or want to know how to interact with people to get the news.
As the years went on, I slowing adjusted to my area of interest, but it wasn't until I transitioned into journalism in college that I truly came out of my shell. I became aware of the fact that although I was using my introversion as a crutch and it was doing nothing but slowing me down, something my advisor and a few professors brought to my attention without even knowing it. So I referenced five personal steps that helped me adjust to the world as an introvert.
1. Be present- I made it known that I was in this world and
that I am important to it
2. Realize- Not everyone thinks the way introverts do
3. Be willing- Understand others the way an introvert wants
to understood
4. Know- Non-verbal communication is just as important as
verbal communication
5. Accept myself- Introversion does not mean I am abnormal
Although these steps seems basic and easy, for an introvert they can be a
challenge. Even though I now enjoy getting to know the ins and outs of people, after these interviews and long days as a journalist, I still have to take some time to myself, even if it is just to listen to music by myself for ten or so minutes.
So at the present, I am able to meet knew people and am anxious to get to know who they are and how they function. I am able to let them get to know me as well, within reason. So to me it is not about being able to adjust, but being willing to get out of habit. It doesn't have to be someone to directly tell you to grow up, but a personal realization or natural life change that causes you to do so.
So for all you none introverts out there be patient, we deal with life differently. But be careful, we react differently too!
Pawlik-Kienlen, Laurie. “What Are Introverted Personality Traits?” Web 24 Nov. 2012. <http://suite101.com/article/the-introvert-a13661>.
You're not the only one,throughout my college career I have found that I'm really not the outgoing person that I thought I was. I tend to sit back and enjoy the conversation around me without putting in my two cents very often. Yay, I'm not alone!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the post. I am not an introvert but I sometimes do not like to talk to others. I wouldn't consider myself an introvert only because it's probably exhaustion from talking too. I have found myself having conversations with total strangers in a store or wherever for over 15 or so minutes only to walk away thinking "What the heck". As humans, sometimes it's hard to deal with other humans for whatever reason. We shouldn't have to explain why we don't want to do something or why we do want to. "I don't want to do _____" should be enough.
ReplyDeleteI really like this post. I too am an introvert, and I definitely understand a lot of what you're saying. When I was younger, I was very shy. I didn't make a lot of friends. You could say that this is because I was home schooled, but I don't buy that. My sister has been home schooled her whole life and she's a social butterfly. She was constantly trying to get me to play with her when we were little when I'd just want to play by myself, and she always had a lot of friends. It was a matter of personality. Still, I was often lonely and wished I had more friends to spend time with. Now that I've been to college, and although I love my new friends and have overcome most of my shyness, I've come to realize that I really do just enjoy being alone. I think I could learn a thing or two from you about thinking before I speak. Too often I feel left out of group conversations, so I try to blurt out something to get attention, but a lot of times it comes out sounding silly and irrelevant, or at worst even stupid.
ReplyDeleteI feel I can be the same way sometimes because I don't party a lot or go out and people may say I'm boring or not fun. This is not true because they don't know me well enough to decide what type of person I am. I have fun but I have a son I Like to spend my weekends with him at Chuckie Cheeses or other fun places I know he likes. People don't know these things because I don't speak of them at its my business not theirs. I could careless what people feel about me honestly! When people say I'm not fun because i don't Party like them I say "well I don't see how you party 24/7 shouldn't you be studying or doing homework." Then they change the subject. In a way I feel I am also a Introvert so like Michelle Nelson said YOU ARE NOT ALONE. GREAT POST!! CHECK OUT MY CHILDHOOD OBESITY BLOG IF YOU HAVE TIME!!
ReplyDeleteWhen we wake up from our 4 wall room into the world we see how people truly are and at times we just don't put our selves in their web. At times I see myself as shy, but when I open my mouth and I feels that I'm not being judged I'll feel comfortable and I'll start talking. When I go certain places and I talk to the same people I don't see myself not being social, but rather keeping myself in a group that's doing something and isn't talking about nothing. Great post make another one so I can comment on it.
ReplyDeleteThat was very informative, i actually did not know that. Thank you for shaing, i do feel like this sometimes, i like being alone most of the time, it gives me time to think and just relax. It is good that you were able to come out some and express yourself, not many people understand that not everyone is going to be just like them. They cannot force their ideas and thoughts onto others. It's a real put down a lot of the time.
ReplyDeleteAfter reading this, I realized that I can't really classify myself as an introvert or an extrovert because I frequently switch back and forth between the two depending on the situation. It takes a lot of nerve to admit the struggle you have had with this portion of your personality, and I appreciate the genuine approach you took. The pictures were a nice touch!
ReplyDeleteYour pictures made me laugh. There's a lot of confusion over what an 'introvert' is, I guess because there are so many definitions. I guess we just have to be careful about the context we use it in, or find a new word that people can relate to better. People don't seem to realize that an introvert is simply someone who isn't an extrovert - not an abnormality, just the other side of the 'continuum', as wikepedia puts it. Liked your post!
ReplyDeleteLove this. I am that person who rather listen than talk. For years I have been told that I am cold or judgemental when someone first meets me but its simply because I am observing, learning and figuring out the person before making up my mind if I want to have a conversation with them. I'm sure that sounds cocky but it is more of a protection mechanism. Introverts keep feelings to themselves so in attempt not to have even more things to deal with this happens. However, if you actually get to know them and put in the effort they are usually the most interesting and intelligent people you will ever meet. Take me for instance, I'm amazing! ;) Good blog topic.
ReplyDeleteI belive that I also have a little introvert inside me I love just going back to my house and sitting in my room by myself not having to communicate with other people and be alone with my thoughts. I do enjoy going out though sometimes and chilling with my close friends only. So I guess I'm both introvert and extrovert.
ReplyDeleteI had no idea that there was such a thing as a introvert. I always thought that people who didn't talk much were either shy or they were letting the situation all soak in. I'm glad to understand you a little better. I guess joining choir has helped you out of your shell a little bit too, huh? :)
ReplyDeleteI am completely an introvert, which is probably not the best thing considering there are millions of people in this world and interaction is one key for survival. I really,really, really, really (did I mention really?) like being on my own with the exception of a few people I can be around for most of the day (which is rare for me). It's not that I find people annoying or inferior. Though I think that is how I came across when I was younger. It's just that I absolutely can't wait to have alone time. Even in class I'd rather listen then speak. I've realized that I have needed to work on this for some time. Your five personal steps are really helpful.
ReplyDeleteThis post provided great information that I had no clue about. Thank you for the sharing, I always that the people were just shy.
ReplyDelete