Opposites Attract

     I have found over the years, that although I prefer to be alone, listening to music, writing poetry or singing, I am attracted to people who like to do just the opposite. I am attracted to extroverts.       
     
        All through out high school, and most of my college days, I have been friends with the athletes, the party girls, the populars, who we all know, although they are not guaranteed to be extroverts, they enjoy the spotlights, the attention, and going out all the time. While this is not my forte, I guess I find it refreshing and somewhat exciting to be around people who live for the moment, who live for the day.                 

         
            It happens in friendship as well. My current roommate is the girl that everyone knows. Although she is from a small town, she has big girl dreams. She speaks her mind no matter what, no matter where, regardless of the topic. She is the first person on the dance floor and getting people active at the parties. These things complete opposite of my personality, she is one of the realest people I know and our friendship means so much to me. Although it was a challenge at first, she has accepted that I am not the same and she. I prefer to stay in when she goes out. I like to think before I speak. Regardless she has been there for me from day one.   

       The same can be said for my significant other. He is one of the most outspoken, life loving, people pleasing, entertainer I have ever met. While I did think he talked to much and was a pain when we first met, once I gave him the chance, I learned that our personalities could not be more perfect for each other. His craziness balances my calmness. His family is more carefree, while mine is quite up tight at times, and as we all know, we are the product of our families. However, he and his family bring me the most laughter and joy I have experienced my whole life and, according to him, my family provides him with more support, guidance and understanding than he has ever experienced.     
        
          The best thing to do is to embrace each others differences. The extrovert can bring new people into the introvert's life, and the introvert can create peaceful spaces in the home and in the relationship. The differences can enhance the relationship the two work with the differences rather than fighting over them. 
       
          Based on these facts, I would argue that although in life, the world would place us against each other, there are ways in which introverts and extroverts are compatible in friendship, in love, and in life. 

Introversion In the Classroom

Teachers always encourage student involvement in class, from reading an excerpt from a book, to answering a question, or even group work, and many students are will to participate in it, but the introverts are uncomfortable with it.

Being an introvert has its challenges on its own, however, being an introvert in the classroom can be difficult.  Those same misunderstandings that the outside world holds about introverts also cross over into the learning environment. Due to the uncomfortable vibe given off by the student, the teacher too becomes uncomfortable, developing his or her own thoughts and ideas about it.

A common misperception about the introverted student is that the student’s lack of participation is because he or she lacks motivation or doesn’t understand, however neither is neither is true, this I know from personal experience.

As you all know, I am a communications major, but believe it or not, it was miscommunication between myself and my advisor that lead me to being a more extroverted introvert, in terms of communication.

For years, I sat in the classroom listening and observing; avoiding getting called on to interact. It was not because I did not understand or because I lacked motivation, but simply because it is what I am comfortable doing. I sat in class taking notes or just writing my thoughts, but never engaging in conversation because I feel I can learn my just by listening. However, around my junior year in college, my advisor/professor and I had a bit of a heated misunderstanding.

Over the years she was the professor thinking I lacked motivation, or in her words, “did not care.” I had always gotten a weird vibe from her, but it wasn’t until her views of me threatened my job at the university, one that I valued, that I was forced to speak up for myself and clear the air. By the end of our conversation, the professor and I were on the same page and she apologized for her assumptions, assumptions that could have been cleared up by a simple act, pulling me aside and confronting me about her concerns.

A lesson was learned on both parts, I to not completely shut myself out of every situation, and she address the situation rather than working based off of assumption.

Although it is hard, this is where the steps mentioned in my first blog post come into play for an introvert to avoid such obstacles. We cannot be afraid or complacent in every situation; there comes a point in time where everyone needs to speak up.

So my advice and challenge to you all today is, NEVER be afraid to speak up! 

Are You An Introvert or An Extrovert

Although my fight is on behalf of the introverts, I value and understand that everyone in the world is not an introvert. The most common dispute is about introverts and extroverts. In order to understand where the personalities clash, and how, as I described in my previous post, to get out of introverted ways, some research was needed.

A few of the commonly known traits of an extrovert include: being interested in what is going on around them, open and often talkative, compare opinions with the opinions of others, like action and initiative, easily make new friends or adapt to a new group, say what they think, are interested in new people, and easily break unwanted relations.

If it can’t be seen from these traits, extroverts are energized by being around other people, quite the opposite of an introvert, who is energized from being alone. For this reason, extroverts strive in social situations such as parties. However, by comparison, not all extroverts share these needs for interaction and conversation.

A friend of mine would describe herself as an extrovert, even a psychological test would say the same, however she does not exhibit all the same characteristics of one, she actually has some of an introvert. While she is friendly and enjoys meeting new people, she is also shy given certain situations and prefers to be alone. The majority of her time, she prefers to be in her room, by herself, listening to music and studying. She does not strive for the outside social life that extroverts are known to want.

With this being said, it can be argued that although people have been categorized by their personalities over the years, no one has a set personality. People are too complicated to be only one kind of person. I myself can consider myself an extrovert, at times, very rare times, but times nonetheless.

However, for those of you who need to know one way or the other, or who would just like to do it for fun, try this personality test and find out, are you an introvert or an extrovert.

If you do take the test, feel free to share your results and your thoughts on the results. I look forward to hearing about it. 

Just so you know, here are the results I got after taking the test.

Pretty interesting since I'm so set on being an introvert right? Take the test and find out!

 For more information on the common differences between introverts and extroverts, visit www.socionics.com/main/types.htm

Be You, Whoever You Are

With such a busy semester almost behind me, and the last day of classes finally over, I was anxious for the moment to be able to go home, relax and sleep, but today I realized that sometimes even introverts feel the need for some people to people attention.

After my only class of the day and my last class of the semester, rather than wanting to be alone in my room celebrating, I found myself wanting to talk to everyone, figure out what everyone was doing for the night. My roommate even stopped me mid sentence to ask if I was ok. Truth be told, I did not know what had come over me, until she brought up the party she was going to that night.

When she began talking about the party, my first thought was, I wish I were comfortable enough to go. Although I know many people, people who would be at that party, mainly people I met due to my extroverted friends, that doesn’t mean I am able to connect with them and have fun the way they do with each other. Just for a night I wanted to be out and be recognized, I wanted to be the girl that everyone loved to talk to, who wasn’t sometimes socially awkward in the party environment.

So that was it. I was going to get dressed and go to the party. But when my roommate came downstairs dressed and ready to go, I was still sitting in bed, not dressed to party, but watching TV and on the computer.

It seems those urges will present themselves from time to time; the urge to live the so-called normal college life, to have fun and socialize, but who’s to say I hadn’t already been doing that. This is the thought that caused me to change my mind. No party, no drunken fiasco could replace the great times and memories I have created from sitting at home cooking and watching movies with my boyfriend, reading my niece a bed time story, or playing Michael Jackson Experience on the Wii with my roommates.

Sometimes we may think we want something, but we cannot change the people we are. That night, I wanted to live, but then I realized, I had been living all along. I had been living my way. But for a moment, I had let he societal norms of the world let me believe that I was not, but I’m glad I won that battle.

So my advice today is never let world’s expectations of who they think you should be, determine who you really are.

The Introverted Journalist

Being misunderstood is never an easy thing to deal with.  I cannot count the number of times I have rolled my eyes or wanted to just slap someone for saying I’m too timid or shy just because I was not jumping into their conversation, or for saying I was boring because I did not want to go out to the parties or other social events like everyone else did. Since when do my outward ways of life determine the type of person I am?! It is as if everyone should be the same in their eyes, like everyone should talk too damn much during the week and get drunk and act like fools on the weekend, and that just isn’t me. I talk when I feel it is necessary and go out occasionally on special occasions and I am ok with that...now!

Things have been this way for me since freshman year of high school. I am now a senior in college and although people do not seem to have changed much, I have. The main thing that has helped me grow and develop into a more tolerant and patient introvert is my love for communications and current pursuit of a communication degree. I know, I know some of you may be thinking, “how can an introvert be a communications major?” but it is possible.

Personality traits of an introvert can include but are not limited to dealing with emotions, thoughts, and observations internally. We reveal less about ourselves to others, however that does not mean we are less of a person that others. In those group conversation situations, introverts need more time to think about responding to comments and ideas before we just blurt things out. So contrary to extrovert belief, we do have opinions, ideas, etc. we just process and share them differently.

Believe it or not, the guy in the red used to be, and sometimes still is me. Introverts are ok with being alone, in fact we do our best thinking and a lot of the time we are happier when alone, but again, that does not make us the lesser people or the more boring people. We introverts can find small take tiring because the main source of our energy comes from within rather than from being around people. This does not mean we prefer to be alone for our lives, but we do need time to ourselves to recharge and refocus.

Being a part of the communications causes a person to branch out, speak to, and get to know many people through interviewing them for a story, using them as a point of contact for another person or just getting a photo. Either way as a journalist, I have been able to better understand that every person is different and works differently. Getting to know people has also presented a new way of looking at the world, which is not easy for an introvert since we feel as though everyone should know what we know. 

When I first began working in journalism I would be good in preparing for the interview. My questions were prepared, typed and printed ahead of time. I covered all the areas that needed to be covered as far as getting information for my stories, such as the who, what, when, where, why and how. Yet and still, when it came down to conducting the actual interview, I instantaneously became nervous. The thought of having to talk to another person, whom I did not know, was off-setting to me. Providing news to others was something important to me, but I did not know how to, or want to know how to interact with people to get the news. 

As the years went on, I slowing adjusted to my area of interest, but it wasn't until I transitioned into journalism in college that I truly came out of my shell.   I became aware of the fact that although I was using my introversion as a crutch and it was doing nothing but slowing me down, something my advisor and a few professors brought to my attention without even knowing it. So I referenced five personal steps that helped me adjust to the world as an introvert.

1. Be present- I made it known that I was in this world and     

    that I am important to it

2. Realize- Not everyone thinks the way introverts do

3. Be willing- Understand others the way an introvert wants 

     to understood

4. Know- Non-verbal communication is just as important as 

     verbal communication

5. Accept myself- Introversion does not mean I am abnormal

Although these steps seems basic and easy, for an introvert they can be a

challenge. Even though I now enjoy getting to know the ins and outs of people, after these interviews and long days as a journalist, I still have to take some time to myself, even if it is just to listen to music by myself for ten or so minutes.

           So at the present, I am able to meet knew people and am anxious to get to know who they are and how they function. I am able to let them get to know me as well, within reason. So to me it is not about being able to adjust, but being willing to get out of habit. It doesn't have to be someone to directly tell you to grow up, but a personal realization or natural life change that causes you to do so.

         

           So for all you none introverts out there be patient, we deal with life differently. But be careful, we react differently too! 

Pawlik-Kienlen, Laurie. “What Are Introverted Personality Traits?” Web 24 Nov. 2012. <http://suite101.com/article/the-introvert-a13661>.